My father in law passed away a few days ago. He lives (lived?) in Rome, but the family want him buried in his home country. All three children are in different countries. Husband's passports are expired / expiring / in the middle of the application process. It's a nightmare. His original birth certificate is missing, having travelled so many times in his life. FIL's own birth certificate was recently sent here before the death, so that husband could sort out his passport. The birth certificate was required to be issued a death certificate.

The death certificate is required to obtain an expedited passport for husband. SIL flew to Rome to help MIL pack all her possessions so she can permanently move to her home country, now that there is no point in her being in Rome where FIL part time worked / volunteered.

Everyone, and I mean everyone knows FIL here. Even I knew him from back when I was 11. It's been several days and we are still receiving many daily messages from all over the UK, sometimes from Italy or the US, along with pictures... and it's a lot. I can't stop to think about any of it because I want to stay strong for my husband. He's strong, but there are moments when grief overcomes him.

I had therapy only several hours after we heard the news. So Therapist was one of the first ones to find out outside of the family. He knew FIL too. I wasn't planning on telling him but of course it came out and T was in shock.

I caught up with G that same evening. She apologised for saying things like 'is this therapy even working for you'. I explained some of my progress, and explained that she does have an inaccurate view of things. She said that she understood, because she only speaks to me occasionally and whenever we do, it's usually to filter out negative things. And she hasn't seen how I live my day-to-day, all the baby steps I've taken.

We talked (only) for an hour because N came back from going out and she had to answer the door. N is a childhood friend. He is staying at G's for the time being. Because his wife is in their house and they're in the process of separating. Or at least she wants to, but he's taken completely aback and is still trying to sort things out. He is allowing her to kick him out even though she's not paying rent, and to stay there until she starts her new job out in London. He's trying his best to understand the situation and keep himself in her good books, because they have a five year old, same age as mine - and of course he wants to stay in the child's life.

So that was the situation G was dealing with the last couple of weeks, all of that upheaval.

I'm so sad for N and S. They were one of the first of us to get married. S was saying that she fell out of love with him some years ago, hurtful things like she only married him to get back at N's ex... I just spoke to N earlier, and he said there were some things that happened triggering the separation - basically after they went out drinking because they had adjoining rooms he caught her in bed with his best friend, while they were all on holiday in the US together. Now she is looking for flats in London with said ex-best friend.

It's so messy, man. But it makes me grateful for my own relationship with my husband. He promised to speak to N soon, cos N wanted his advice. But husband is also of course dealing with his own grief, although I have to say he seems to be plowing along as normal. He's doing his best and I just have to be here for him. All of this has sobered me up and made me so productive and less depressed. I can't be weak right now.

2022-06-15.6:35 p.m.
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