I had my IUD strings checked and a smear done because of some post-sex bleeding I've had for months. They can't feel or find my strings. I will have an internal scan in 2-3 weeks so they can look for them and the coil itself.
I nearly had a panic attack on the examining table. I could feel it coming on. I hate internal exams. They used to be painful but at least that's not the case anymore. I just get very anxious now.
We tried to have sex a few days ago but I just couldn't orgasm. I was too sad about my parents and it was distracting me from being in the moment. Also sex was painful for some reason, I'm guessing something to do with my IUD. At one point I felt like crying. Finally I just said, "sorry, i don't think I'm gonna get there, just tell me what you want."
I'm just scared now to try and repeat it. All of this is filling me with so much anxiety, it's bringing me back to a year ago. I feel like I'm back to square one.
G posted a mother's day message on her Facebook, and sent me a screenshot of it, saying that she had me and her niece in mind as she wrote it, and that we are special to her:
A special HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to a couple of super moms whom I hold very dear. You have such enduring love, deep compassion and understanding. The struggles and tremendous strain you're constantly under are more than anything most of us have faced. People judge and stare and are unkind to the challenges you face and yet with hope you begin each day anew. There's nobody I know whose heart can love as much as you.
My husband gave me a set of glass coffee cups so I can see the gradation of the milk and coffee coming out of the machine. They're FRIENDS ones, to remind me of the time he said to me so innocently, "Central what? I thought the coffee shop was called Central Park all this time."
Oh, my days.
2022-05-09.8:54 p.m.
<< | # ! ? ♥ | >>