Wow so today has been shitty eating day, not because I'm intentionally being daft or am depressed, but life has just got in the way. But there's no excuse for being disorganised.
Little boy woke up twice, maybe three times during the night - not sure anymore - with nosebleeds again. The first time I was alerted to it by his older sister, screaming Mama, Mama from their bedroom, in tears. Little boy was already upset from his nosebleed, Big Sister was traumatised by all the blood and was understandably crying, shouting for help, leading to little boy crying some more because he thought she was shouting at him.
So I had to sleep next to them with the lamp on, which actually meant no sleep at all. Everytime I heard him sniff extra loud, I woke up. They were both up at 7am, husband took over and I tried to sleep in until 9am, to no avail. My planned breakfast at 9am became 11am, lunch went out the window because my driving lesson became an hour later than agreed... I had to wash the bloody sheets, hoover the whole house properly. I'm currently making NYE dinner for the potluck... Still no lunch and it's 5pm. Grown up dinner is scheduled for 8pm.
I have just been on the back foot all day. Haven't even had time to exercise, but I truly can't at this point. There's just no time. I just thought I'd write this while waiting for the roast pork with crackling to cook. I'm trying to send everyone Happy New Year messages, customising each one depending on who it's for. Being sociable is fucking work.
The kids are eating. I'm spoonfeeding little boy while typing.
I remembered about meal times twice, when I had dizzy spells. My body truly can't handle this shit anymore. Nice reminder that I'm no longer in my 20s.
I need to eat a small snack before proper dinner, I can't be overeating in front of the other people later. Might still be able to salvage 'regular eating', even though it's a not so regular day.
2021-12-31.5:00 p.m.
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