swan

Frantic skimming through DBT worksheets picking out interpersonal relationship tools trying to prepare myself for this conversation that has been a long time coming.

Be factual in describing the situation, state your feelings, assert your wishes and reinforce.

My brain fighting through the migraine. What do I want? I want answers. I would like an end to this emotionally driven miscommunication.

I would like to keep my support network and share my victories and be treated as an adult. Not to resume the child position in that enmeshment. I would like honesty. I would like to be treated with priority and respect.

This conversation needs to happen soon. I cannot stand the nervous anticipation and anxiety of waiting for a call or a message anymore. It makes me angry but I have to appear like a fucking swan and be graceful and composed even though there is a lot of unresolved issues that I would like for her to help me understand and solve, because she created them by ignoring and burying her head in the sand.

I have to be prepared for invalidation too. And defensiveness in response to my honesty. Therapist said to even write a script. Man.


2021-11-14.8:38 a.m.
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