little humans

My little boy is getting nosebleeds again. I bet it's his body temperature and the change of weather to blame. He has a low grade fever and it is interfering with his and my sleep. He will cry and wake up presumably out of discomfort. There is a 50/50 chance that his nose is bleeding and I have to change the sheets in the morning.

Just earlier he was dripping blood all over our living room rug. His big sister helped grab the carpet shampoo, baby wipes and tissue while I held him and tried to keep him still so that none of our furniture got bloody. He cannot really follow instructions. I cannot give him medicine without borderline wrestling him because he hates anything near his face. We aren't sure if he understands us, really, or if it's just plain refusal. We strongly suspect he is on the autism spectrum. We have thought this since before he turned one. More on that another time, maybe.

Because older sister is off school I have been trying to keep her busy. We slept late last night singing karaoke on youtube with our cheap microphone made from China. I know this is improving her reading skills, plus it's so much fun. I love to sing. Big sister can hold a tune too, so I'd like to refine that talent. She may just end up like her mum :)

Sometimes I cannot believe I birthed these little humans and I have nearly full responsibility for them. It's quite amazing really. It's only really now that the gravity of that hits me, because I am dealing with my own issues that I do not want to project on to them. Thank God for therapy.

2021-10-26.5:47 p.m.
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