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Martin or Clive, either of them will do for now.

I get so scared when I think about it, every day the veil is lifted ever higher and I think Iíd rather just not see the world raw like that. I hate thinking, it would be easier if he were here. It wouldnít even be a problem. And if anything became a problem, he would be here. There will be no dread on the day, just his hands on my eyes and a Surprise, this is what you have been missing all along. Experience it to the fullest. He had talked about strength, not just any kind, but mine. I knew that for myself and didnít need convincing. Today I realise that confidence I had was because he was there. He told me, so I believed it.

Martin if I want to be challenged and Clive if I want an hour of digression. Either of them will do for now, I donít mind too much, but I think what I really need is a friend who will listen.


2011-05-15.6:27 p.m.
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